Crying

I just cried because of a tv show.
No, I don't cry because of graduations, death, or something tradgic happening. A fucking tv show.
My emotions are about as big as a tea spoon.
I do not show emotions, or deep emotions, unless something really touches me. It was a tv show.
I have not cried in months or since my last hissy fit.
When I was growing up, everyone alsways cried for the littlest of things like a first word coming out of my little cousins mouth, or a simple " I love you." So why am I like this? Why do I not cry? Why don't I show true emotion?
Is it because I constantly put up an act, to where I actually believe the way I act is the way I am?
I don't know. I don't like not knowing.
That's it? That's it! I never made a new years resolution! Well here it is.
Stop acting. Stop with the petty games or the false phrases.
hmm.
So that's what it feels like to slap yourself in the face.