summer

I am sitting at work right now doing absolutely nothing so I decided to blog.
What to blog about? Oh well hell since it's summer, let's talk about " summer plans."
For a solid three months I am working at my aunt's law firm doing bitch work like filing, typing legal documents, cleaning their dishes, running errands, and last but not least: making coffee.
I am pretty sure this place has a curse because all I do when I get here is eat. I think maybe it's a mixture of nothing to do and actual hunger. Anyway, I am glad I work here because it opens my eyes to how much I never want to work in an office for the rest of my life. Thank God.
Speaking of God, I work in a church choir now praising the Lord through song. I get paid which is nice, but the conductor is a wee bit crazy. She directs totally different from what I am used to because I am being spoiled by Meg. She also puts people down a lot, but I feel like it's only me because she not only comments on my singing, but she also comments on my shoes and how they are not nice enough for church. Well sure I will go buy new shoes with the imaginary money from my fucking wallet.
On a happier note, I am saving money to study abroad. I have decided! I would like to go to Italy to study vocal performance and learn Italian. I will either go next spring or the summer. Nothing will prevent me but money! I am saving though..
I am also doing shows which feels great because it seems like forever since I have been in a show. It's been a year. WOW. I love singing and acting and being apart of something.
Speaking of being a part of something..... Glee? Amazing. Loved it.
I spent my time watching Glee at Bryce's house with a bunch of friends which was a good time. I think it's going to be a really good show and I can't wait until I see it in the fall. I want to find outwhat happens.. I just hope they don't put all the good stuff in the commercials...
Last night, I spent the night with Dot and Kacie and we watched the Mitch Hedberg comedy skit and it was fucking hilarious! look it up! Kacie and I also went and got snoballs from sal's and talked about people we know and their lives for the summer. Everybody does it..
Well I hope everyone has a great summer! I know I will! The break is greatly appreciated. :]

Crying

I just cried because of a tv show.
No, I don't cry because of graduations, death, or something tradgic happening. A fucking tv show.
My emotions are about as big as a tea spoon.
I do not show emotions, or deep emotions, unless something really touches me. It was a tv show.
I have not cried in months or since my last hissy fit.
When I was growing up, everyone alsways cried for the littlest of things like a first word coming out of my little cousins mouth, or a simple " I love you." So why am I like this? Why do I not cry? Why don't I show true emotion?
Is it because I constantly put up an act, to where I actually believe the way I act is the way I am?
I don't know. I don't like not knowing.
That's it? That's it! I never made a new years resolution! Well here it is.
Stop acting. Stop with the petty games or the false phrases.
hmm.
So that's what it feels like to slap yourself in the face.